Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man
So this is going to be a fun, creative blog! Yay!
Uncyclopedia, and other similar Wikipedia spoofs, take legitimate articles and write comedic spoofs of them. For example, the article about James Joyce is written in the style of James Joyce.
assignment?
Click on said article.
Read said article.
Write your own comedic James Joyce-esque paragraph describing either a major character or event in the novel!
Make things interesting.
That is all.
4 comments:
So I’m not quite sure how to answer this blog, but perchance this will suffice. This Joyce-esque paragraph describes the moment when Stephen sees the girl on the beach.
He planted his wavering body on the beach. Each grain of sand glistened like pulverized human dust under Michael’s staff on the streets of Jericho. And the sun said Yes surely we are destroyed from this day yes surely we are yes. Stephen had just crawled from the fiery pits of priests because they are drunk and they are toxic too. He had just come from the bathroom.
Unfortunately, Stephen had just finished his Slurpee and he was ready to relieve himself once again. As he propped himself up on his right arm, his eyes glanced towards the horizon. Now Stephen frequented gentlemen’s clubs, or rather he used to back in the days when he was more of a hippie and less of a Bible-blessing bumpkin. And as he looked up, Stephen saw a girl, not just a girl, the girl. The girl that he pushed over the sandbox when he was seven years old because he liked her but everyone knows that little boys make fun of girls when they have a crush on them. The girl ran towards Stephen like a hackneyed scene from Bay Watch, and as she approached Stephen, she stumbled over Stephen’s foot, fell on the sand, and bit her tongue. She cried. Stephen was turned off. Stephen went home. Stephen became an artist.
I"m going to do the scene where Stephen states that he would like to marry Eileen Vance from next door, but his family expresses their disappointmenmt at that choice.
Stephen wanted to marry Eileen. She was pretty. And that was all. But his mom said no. Why would she say no? Oh, wait, she's Protestant. And he's Catholic. He feels pubescently, so he cries his way under the table. His mother says get out from under there, but he is stuck. His father must hack the table away. Stephen does not marry. ever.
I'm going to write a biography about Stephen Deldaus in the style of a MySpace About Me Section:
What to say about me? Well I suppose I should start off by telling you that I have strong religious convictions. Although they often conflict with my growing interest in prostitutes. Roman Catholicism tells me that pre-martial sex and sex for pleasure and not pro-creating is bad, but my groin tells me otherwise. But after every encounter with a lady of the night, my conscious is left being raved with thoughts of hell and worse of places. So therefore, I spend my nights praying and asking for forgiveness. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. I come from a once wealthy now poor family- who somehow managed to send me to excellent schools. My father follows tradition hxc. He makes it really hard for me to leave behind tradition. Anyway, lately, I've been trying my hand at writing novels. HA! like that will get me a living. Anyway, message me or friend me-
call me. beep me. if you want to reach me. (unless I'm with a prostitute than leave me alone)
I love the creative responses ala Joyce so far. Come on, everyone! Respond and have fun with this! Support Martin and Keely in their BLOG!
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